Check out the beautiful cover of Angie McKeon’s debut novel, Against All Odds! This contemporary romance novel will be out early April and I am so very excited for Angie … and to read this book!
Our lives shattered… Our hearts broken… Our souls torn to pieces…
He was my world, my whole life. My reason for breathing. I had a perfect marriage, a baby on the way, and I felt fulfilledโalmost invincible.
Until the day life hit, leaving me broken, vulnerable, and alone.
She was my life. My ray of hope on the cloudiest day. With her, I thought I had the ultimate safety. A love that would never hurt or betray me. I gave her my heart, my body, and my soul.
Until she broke me, destroying every dream and illusion I had about life, love, and marriage.
In our grief, we made a mistake. A mistake I’m not sure we can come back from.
Iโm so cold. Itโs the kind of cold that seeps into my bones and makes me feel as though Iโm going to die. My body trembles from the drugs and sheer terror coursing through my veins.
Why is this happening to me?
What did I do to deserve this?
Please, God! I canโt handle it.
I open my mouth to scream, to cry, to do something, but nothing comes out. Iโm aware of doctors and nurses surrounding me. Theyโve placed Kayla on my chest. Sheโs still warm from being pulled from my body, but she’s not moving.
Sheโs lying there . . . lifeless.
Iโm in a state of disbelief as tears slide down my face. My world shatters when I look at my precious baby girl. She’s everything Iโve always wanted, always dreamed of.
Slowly, I run my fingers over her delicate lips; theyโre so soft and small. An instant reminder of Cooperโs lips. He doesnโt have full and luscious lips like mine but small ones that almost disappear when he smiles. As I run the tips of my fingers across her puffy cheeks and closed eyes, I try to memorize every last detail of her dainty face. Sheโs so beautiful it takes my breath away. Her hair reminds me of caramel; itโs light brown and silky to the touch. It looks like mine did when I was a baby. Her face is peaceful, and for a single moment, Iโm so thankful sheโs not in pain.
Looking at my little girl is a moment Iโve always dreamed of. I love her instantly, and I want to hold her forever. To breathe her into me. To never let her go. The realization that Iโll never hold my precious baby again sinks in, and I feel my stomach clench as pain rips through me. Iโll never get to see her smile, laugh, roll over, or take her first steps. Iโll miss it all.
How do I move past this?
Can I move past this?
As grief consumes me, my sobs become brutal. I feel as though Iโm dying. Like my heart is burning up and turning to ash. Iโll never ever be whole again.
I pick her up and cradle her against my body, wanting to feel her skin against mine. She feels warmโsoft and smooth, like velvet. As I curl my arms around her, my tears drip onto her perfect head. I feel an overwhelming urge to fix this, to bring her back. I donโt want to lose my sweet baby. Everything in my body, my soul is screaming to bring her back.
Desperately looking up at Cooperโs green eyes, I will him to fix this, to make it better and help me. Help her. Heโs always been my rock, my glue, the person who makes everything better. But all I see in his eyes is sadness, desperation, and helplessness that I know is killing him as much as it is me. He rubs his big, shaking hand gently over her tiny head. He looks as though heโs being tortured. Sobs rip through his body as he wraps his arms around me and our precious bundle while climbing into bed with us. I feel myself collapse against his chest as we sob over our loss.
Thereโs nothing we can do.
This is the end of a shattered dream.
Our spirits are slowly dying, and Iโm not sure weโll ever be able to heal.
A multi-tasker from birthโand now proudly able to add ‘writer’ to my resumeโI’m a mother, wife and blogger. I love to read, write and drink copious amounts of iced coffee.
All three aforementioned addictions are detrimental to my sanity.
I have a voracious appetite for dark, painful and twisted reads. I’m enamored with the concept of love and heart break. I believe life is a journey, a tale in its own for each of us. The road to happiness is sometimes paved with stones from hell, or glitters of satisfaction graced from the heavens above.
In my upcoming debut novel, ‘Against All Odds,’ I strive to make you feel. I believe any emotionโwhether painful or happyโis good. To me, the key to living is to go through life feeling itโs ups and downs. Love is dark and it can be painful but, at the end of the day, it can save the most lost of souls and the most broken of hearts.
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