Fifteen years ago I met Sayer Wesley. I fell in love with him. I promised I would never leave him. I swore nothing could break us apart.
Five years ago I broke my promise. I ran away. I took the one secret that could destroy us both and disappeared.
Five days ago I thought I saw him.
I knew it was impossible. Sayer was locked away, serving a deserved sentence in federal prison. He couldnβt find me.
He wouldnβt find me. I was too good at hiding. Too good at surviving.
Because if Sayer ever found me, there would be hell to pay for a plethora of sins. The worst of which, he didnβt even know about.
Five hours ago, I told myself I was crazy.
Five minutes ago, I saw him again.
Five seconds ago, I was too late.
“He was the one constant in my life that had pushed me through the darkness. He was the one constant in my life that loved me beyond everything else, beyond what I was or had been or could ever be.”
Thrumming with tension, Rachel Higginsonβs latest will keep you on the edge of your seat. CONSTANTβher new romantic suspenseβis the first in a duet and centers around Caroline Valero, who left a life you werenβt supposed to be able to leave.
She grew up as part of a brutal Russian mob syndicate, branded as one of their own, stuck in a life she never chose for herself. You never left the bratva, that had been made abundantly clear.
Sheβd met him as a child, he was just a few years older, hungry and scared, pulled into a job that would likely mean heβd disappearβfor goodβat its end. Caroline had saved him and he had risen through the ranks over the years that followed.
Theyβd loved each other fiercely, in a dangerous world where caring for someone meant they were leverage when it counted the most. And while she dreamed of escape, he asserted he couldnβt desert the only family heβd ever had. She promised she wouldnβt leave himβ¦
But five years ago, she left him, left the life without a trace. She started overβhad toβalways watching her back.
She never expected Sayer to find her, but he did, and heβs back, playing a game she canβt figure out, threatening everything sheβd built and the ones she loves the most.
This was an addictive first installment. I loved the story, the tension and the suspense, the angst and longing. Rachel Higginson is such an amazing storyteller and I canβt help but devour anything she sends my way. The ending definitely had me desperately wishing I had the next book, but I canβt wait to see what happens next.
“He was at once utterly beautiful and every nightmare I had ever had come to life.”
βAll right, see you ladies later tonight. You going to be okay?β Sayerβs question was directed at me.
βFine,β I answered quickly. βHere, let me give you your coat back.β
βWeβll go shopping for a new one,β Frankie suggested. Then with a sly smile she added, βMaybe weβll run into those guys at the mall again. This time you have to give that one your number though. He was so hot, Caro.β
Sayerβs blue eyes flared. βWhat guy?β
Oh my God. I was going to kill Frankie. Kill her. This was so embarrassing. And it was only going to get worse. My bright red cheeks were about to catch fire any second, then I would start Sayerβs coat on fire and then I would just die. I would just burn up and die from humiliation.
βWhat guy, Six?β Sayer demanded using the nickname heβd had for me ever since we were ten.
βOh, just these prep school guys we met at the mall last weekend,β Frankie prattled on. βOne of them was so into her. He was like obsessed with her.β
βFrankie, enough,β Sayer growled. βI asked Caroline.β
I licked dry lips. Nobody ever used my full name. Ever. Unless it was Sayer. And only occasionally. Like when it was just the two of us. Or right now⦠when he was obviously pissed off.
βCaroline,β he repeated firmly.
Clearing my throat, I fumbled with the zipper of his coat. βLike she said, prep school guys. They were just messing around. We donβt even know their names.β
βYouβre into them, though? Or the one guy? TheΒ hotΒ guy?β
Could his glare get any more intense? I was surprised it hadnβt sliced me in two by now. βIβm not into him. Geez, I donβt even know him.β
Sayer stepped closer to me and it wasnβt sweet or protective or nice. He was trying to be intimidating. He was trying to be the tough guy our bosses paid him to be. βAnd thatβs what you want?β he pushed. βYou want to get to know this prep school kid?β
I glared up at him briefly before I turned back to the zipper, struggling to get it down the frustrating seam. Argh! I was only ever a fumbling idiot around him. And right now it was pissing me off! βMaybe. He seemed nice. And bonus, Iβm pretty sure his plans tonight donβt include breaking and entering or grand theft.β
Sayer grabbed my wrist in a tight grip, stalling me from ripping his coat off and throwing it in his face. βYeah, but yours do. Donβt forget that when youβre playing rich kid in the city.β
I was so mad I could have sworn I was about to breathe fire. He had hit all my insecurities. All of them. I wasnβt even interested in that stupid prep school kid. To be honest, heβd been a pretentious asshole and I didnβt like the way he leered at me. Thatβs why I hadnβt given him my number. Or even my name. Frankie had only brought him up to get a rise out of Sayer.
Only it had backfired on all of us.
βDonβt worry about me, Sayer. I can handle myself. The job comes first, right? Always?β
His jaw ticked, the silent anger vibrating through him. Everybody knew Sayer was theΒ pakhanβsΒ errand boy. He would do anything for them. This job was his life.
This job was all he cared about.
Not Frankie. Not Gus. And certainly not me.
βYou better be there tonight, Six. On time. Or so help me god, Iβllββ
My chin wobbled, betraying me. βWhat? Tell on me? Report me? Maybe theyβll fire me and Iβll finally be free of this godforsaken place.β
βDonβt fucking talk like that. You know the consequences.β
I bit my tongue to keep from saying something I regretted. I did know the consequences.
Death.
A bullet between the eyes.
βIβll be there tonight,β I hissed. βYou donβt have to be such an asshole about it though.β I finally got the zipper free of the fabric surrounding it and yanked it down. βHere, take your coat.β
Sayer stepped back, the dragon inside him retreating. βGo to the mall. But you better wear that fucking coat.β He took another step back. βFrankie, donβt let her take it off.β
βThatβs the dumbestββ
He ignored my outrage. βSee you tonight, Six.β
βI hate him,β I told Frankie when heβd walked away. βAnd I hate his nickname for me.β
She jumped down from the wall and bumped her shoulder with mine. βYouβre such a liar.β
I sighed, hating the most that she was right. βWhy does he have to make things so difficult though? Why canβt he just be a nice guy and ask me out?β
βBecause you would be bored by a nice guy. Youβd never waste your time with someone uncomplicated or upright. You can fight it all you want, Caro, but you were born for this life.β
I turned to my friend. She had a baseball cap on over her braided long hair. βYeah, well that makes two of us.β
Her expression flattened. βLetβs go find those prep school guys. Weβll stash his jacket in a locker. I wonβt tell if you wonβt.β
Smiling at her idea, we headed for the mall. We even stashed the jacket and found some guys to hang out with. They werenβt the same prep school kids, but they might as well have been. Because the outcome was the same.
I didnβt give out my number.
I didnβt find anyone capable of keeping my attention.
And the entire stupid time I kept thinking about the coat and the boy it belonged to and that even though I wasnβt actually wearing his coat, I was so wearing his coat.
And I didnβt think Iβd ever be able to take it off.
Not in the way that mattered.
As messed up as Sayer Wesley was, I was as entangled in this game of ours as he was. As long as Sayer was in my life there would never be anyone else.
The next day, I rolled out of bed in the early afternoon, exhausted by our late night success at the Mayorβs. A new winter coat was waiting for me in the living room with a note from my dad. He felt bad for losing my other one. Oh, and he would replace my college money as soon as he could. I didnβt need to worry about anything.
Only my dad didnβt do shit like thatβ¦ ever. This had Sayer written all over it. Heβd intervened. Heβd stuck up for me to my dad. Heβd somehow convinced Leon to do the decent thing.
So yeah, I did have something to worry about. I had Sayer to worry about.
I had my weak, infatuated heart to worry about.
On Instagram
vilmairisblog
π»: marketing director at @dell
βοΈ: books + beauty + style + life
π¬: @sugarrushcharms - Next drop π soon!
ππ»: Read my blog + shop my IG + charms