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My Thoughts

Brimming with raw, heartfelt emotion. So moving. So beautiful.
I felt every. single. word.
Perfection. An absolute must-read!

• Related Posts: My review of Finding Cinderella (#2.5, Hopeless), 2013 Favorites, Emotional Powerhouses, 6-Star Books, Colleen Hoover Reading Orders

Synopsis

Still haunted by the little girl he let walk away, Holder has spent his entire life searching for her in an attempt to finally rid himself of the crushing guilt he has felt for years. But he could not have anticipated that the moment they reconnect, even greater remorse would overwhelm him…

Sometimes in life, if we wish to move forward, we must first dig deep into our past and make amends. In Losing Hope, bestselling author Colleen Hoover reveals what was going on inside Holder’s head during all those hopeless moments—and whether he can gain the peace he desperately needs.

My Review

Colleen Hoover is a genius. I don’t know how she does it, but she truly is a master evoking feeling. I love her characters… I understand her characters and that makes me connect with her stories in a very deep way. And after this book, I totally got Holder. I understood his feelings, his thoughts, the intent behind his choices. I fell so much more in love with Dean Holder. I think he’s my favorite Colleen Hoover character because his heart is just so good, so pure, so caring. I was blown away by Holder.

And let me say a couple other things. To me, no one knows how to do an alternate POV book like Colleen Hoover. It’s just an irrefutable fact for me. This Girl (#3, Slammed) and Losing Hope (#2, Hopeless) have both been powerful and perfect with enough new content and fresh, insightful perspective that it felt like a brand new book I was experiencing for the first time. Secondly, I thought the way Colleen formatted the chapters was pure.freaking.brilliance. I was astounded to see that the way she structured the book actually amplified the emotional impact of the story. Wow. I mean, really…WOW!!!

“I’m immediately taken back to when I was a little boy. Back to the moment that changed me. Everything about me. My world turned from a place full of vibrant colors to a dull, lifeless gray. The sky, the grass, the trees … all the things that were once beautiful were stripped of their magnificence the moment I realized I was responsible for our best friend Hope’s disappearance.”

We go back in time before Holder met Sky and we learn about Dean, about Les and about Hope.  We witness firsthand the relationship he shares with his twin, Les and how her choices completely shatter Holder.

“I want her to know how her to know how her selfish decision affected me. How hopeless she left me. Literally hopeless. And completely alone. And so, so incredibly sorry.”

He’s so amazing… the love he feels, the responsibility he wrongly carries on his shoulders. Holder feels responsible for everyone he loves. I knew that from Hopeless, but hearing his thoughts is so much more heartbreaking. I felt incredible sadness over his very broken heart. His level of feeling is just so intense and it completely tore me apart to see him guilty over Les and over Hope, when is reality, he is so completely selfless.

“I deserve to be reminded every second that I’m alive that I let both of you down, so that I can be conscious not to let myself ever do this again to anyone else.”

It was so great to see him fall in love with Sky. There was an entire range of new feeling over understanding his story and delving into his heart even deeper. I loved seeing the dynamic between Sky and Holder, the push and pull in spite of the undeniable connection they feel… even their banter. It all felt so special, re-experiencing what we already knew to happen and falling harder through the new content and through new eyes.

“She’s flat-out rude to me and I love it. She’s stubborn and I love it. She’s a smartass and she’s sarcastic and every witty thing that comes out of her mouth is like music to my ears because that’s exactly what I want. She’s what I need and I don’t want her to change at all. There’s not a single thing about her I would change.”

I got absolute chills with reading about the best first kiss dialogue. You guys know what I mean! The escalating chemistry, the want, the desire, the connection… all culminating in such beautiful moments between them both. My own heart was racing and I couldn’t believe how much I loved Holder through it all.

“I want to kiss her so fucking bad but I’m too scared. I’m scared if I kiss her too soon, it’ll feel like every other kiss she’s ever received. She’ll feel nothing. I don’t want her to feel nothing when I kiss her. I want her to feel everything.”

And in the last part of the book, when the truth comes out, my heart broke all over again. Heartbreak. Hurt. Guilt. Devastation. I was feeling everything all over again.

“If I had a soul before those words, it just completely broke in half. Tears fill my eyes and I hurt for her.”

I can’t say enough about this beautiful story. Holder’s story. It’s a story of love and survival and of shedding guilt and pain. It’s a story of finding hope.

Losing Hope 6-star read, one of my new, all-time favorites and a must-read in my book! Real. Raw. Heartbreaking. Romantic. Beautiful. Hopeful.

“I honestly thought I’d always be hopeless, but I find hope every single day.”

Favorite Quotes

“I walked away from her thirteen years ago and ruined her life. Now if I decide not to walk way from her, I’ll ruin her life again. Just goes to show that everything I do is hopeless. Fucking hopeless.”
***
“Since the moment I met her, no matter where I am, I’m constantly wondering about her. My attention is constantly homed in on her like I’m a compass and she’s my North.”
***
“Every kiss, every movement, every moan, every touch of her hand against my skin. She’s my saving grace. My hope.”
***
“I live you, Sky… I live you so much.”
***
“I just don’t live her. I love her. I’ve loved her since we were kids.”
***
“Fuck all the firsts, Sky. The only thing that matters to me with you are the forevers.”
***
“I’m not falling in love with her piece by piece anymore. I’m in love with the whole girl. Every single piece of her.”
***
“I was in love with the way you loved me. When you wrapped your arms around me and held me, I knew that no matter what happened with my life, you were my home.”

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