Sticks and stones will break my bones, but words will never harm me.
Whoever coined that phrase is a bald-faced liar. Words are often the sharpest weapon of all, triggering some of the most powerful emotions a human can experience.
βYouβre pregnant.β
βItβs a boy.β
βYour son needs a heart transplant.β
Sticks and stones will break my bones, but words will never harm me.
Lies.
Syllables and letters may not be tangible, but they can still destroy your entire life faster than a bullet from a gun.
Two wordsβthat was all it took to extinguish the sun from my sky.
βHeβs gone.β
For ten years, the darkness consumed me.
In the end, it was four deep, gravelly words that gave me hope of another sunrise.
βHi. Iβm Porter Reese.β
βI assure you I have zero interest in commiserating with you. I wouldnβt understand your demons any more than you would understand my personal circle of hell.β
Her sad eyes flicked back to mine.
βThen what do you want?β
I sucked in a deep breath that did nothing to calm the eternal storm brewing within me.
βJust a little company in the darkness.
No questions. No judgments. No faking it.β
WithΒ The Darkest SunriseΒ duet, Aly Martinez delivers a heart-wrenching, deeply moving story of two people finding happiness after living in the dark fog of grief for so long. Evocative at every level, the narrative explores situations with no easy answers.
The story of Charlotte and Porter is felt in the gut, in the heart, in a way that unbearably tightens even as the story unravels. Although itβs best to go into these books blind, Iβll say that they explore the aftermath of tragedies, the feelings of anger and heartache that come with the loss of control, the fractures these events can trigger, and the path to healing that often seems obscure.
These two peopleβCharlotte and Porterβdiscover what it means to love vigorously and relentlessly. How to fight for it despite feeling caught in the unimaginable.
While decidedly heartrending, Aly skillfully adds levity to the story with the perfect balance of humor and sexiness.
Youβll devour both books, and youβll be sad to finish when you doβcount on that!
βItβs always darkest before dawn, Porter. We just have to wait a little longer. The sun always rises, baby.β
After that, silence fell on the room, but we didnβt need any more words. We stood there, her back to the wall, her front plastered to mine, so close that not even the air divided us.
Two people alone in the darkness.
No questions.
No judgments.
No faking it.
Until she decided to turn on the lights.
βLosing your wife doesnβt count,β she said so quietly that I barely heard her.
βWhat?β I breathed, sliding my hand around her back and shifting her deeper into my curve.
βYou chose to love her. You can choose to let her go.β
My hand spasmed on her lower back as my head popped up.
Those tears that had been filling her eyes finally spilled out the sides. βI never had a choice, Porter. He came out of me.β
My stomach knotted. βI didnβt tell you that so youβd open up. No questions, remember?β
She shook her head. βIt was ingrained into me to love him. Morning, noon, and night And thenβ¦he was gone.β A horrible, soul-searing cry tore from her throat, slamming into me like a physical blow.
I rocked back onto my heels, but not before gathering her impossibly closer.
I held her as though I could put her back together. And, God, did I try as she sobbed in my arms.
βLucas,β she choked out, her tears soaking the front of my shirt. βIt was my fault. I left him alone at the park. It was only for a second, and someone took him. Itβs been almost ten years, and I still donβt even know if heβs alive or not.β
βOh God,β I breathed, pain gripping my chest.
βThat kind of love doesnβt die, Porter. It grows in the darkness, and I canβt make it stop.β
βOkay. Okay. Shhh,β I urged, my mind barely able to formulate thoughts over the thundering of my heart. βIβve got you.β
βYou donβt understand!β she cried, attempting to push me away, but I refused to let her go.
βNo. I donβt,β I assured.
She continued to writhe in my arms, but the way she gripped the back of my shirt made it clear she wasnβt trying to get away anymore. βNo one fucking understands. The whole world just keeps going on without him. And I canβt do it anymore. I canβt keep up. I try. And I try. But I canβt do it anymore. I need it to stop, Porter.β
Cupping the back of her neck, I tucked her face against my shoulder and murmured, βIβll stop with you. I swear to God, Charlotte. Iβll stop with you.β
She clung to me with frantic desperation. βI canβt treat your son.β
I screwed my eyes shut.
Fuck. She really couldnβt.
Shame corroded my insides. A part of me had still hoped she would.
But there were other doctors.
And only half of her.
βItβs okay,β I murmured into her hair.
βI want to. And I swear I would do it for you. But kids and meβ¦ We just donβt work. Theyβre all him. Every single one of them. Boy or girl, it doesnβt matter. Theyβre all him.β
I rubbed her back. βShhhβ¦okay.β
βIβm so sorry.β
βMe too.β I tipped my head back to stare at the ceiling. βFuck. Me too, Charlotte.β
She continued to apologize, and I let her because it seemed to soothe her. She didnβt owe me those.
We stood there for a long time, our pounding hearts filling the drawn-out silences. Unwilling to sitβor, really, move at allβour bodies swayed as we did our best to balance as a single unit.
She held me.
I held her.
No questions.
No judgments.
No faking it.
But the longer we stood there, the more I realized that those three things were going to be our biggest problems. With her wrapped securely in my arms, soft admissions pouring from her mouth, reality crashed onto my shoulders like a ton of bricks. I was a single father chasing a woman who couldnβt handle being in the presence of a child.
Iβd never even had her, yet when she finally stepped out of my arms, I knew Iβd lost her all the same.
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