Lowen Ashleigh is a struggling writer on the brink of financial ruin when she accepts the job offer of a lifetime. Jeremy Crawford, husband of bestselling author Verity Crawford, has hired Lowen to complete the remaining books in a successful series his injured wife is unable to finish.
Lowen arrives at the Crawford home, ready to sort through years of Verityโs notes and outlines, hoping to find enough material to get her started. What Lowen doesnโt expect to uncover in the chaotic office is a rough draft of an autobiography Verity likely didnโt intend for anyone to read. Page after page of bone-chilling admissions, including Verityโs recollection of the night their family was forever altered.
Lowen decides to keep the manuscript hidden from Jeremy, knowing its contents would devastate the already grieving father. But as Lowenโs feelings for Jeremy begin to intensify, she recognizes all the ways she could benefit if he were to read his wifeโs words. After all, no matter how devoted Jeremy is to his injured wife, a truth this horrifying would make it impossible for him to continue to love her.
A struggling writer lands the opportunity of a lifetime but finds herself embroiled in more than she bargained for when she uncovers sordid truths about the wife of her employer.
Thereโs nothing I love more than a well-written suspense novel. For years, Iโve been steeped in their construct, in the chills and thrills they evokeโfrom the high-paced procedural to atmospheric Nordic Noirs to the plot-twisting psychological thrillers of late, this is the genre I arguably enjoy most. And so truthfully I didnโt know what to expect with Colleen Hooverโs latestโVERITY.
Itโs no secret Iโm a devoted fan of her books, and despite her work with NEVER NEVER, this felt like her first, true dabble with the genre.
The book is a stylistic departure for Hoover, but also so unmistakably hers. While yes, the direction and tone of the narrative is decisively different, the story comes alive through the dialogue and the storytelling itself, which to me is where she sets herself apart and where her recognizable style shines through.
While some thrillers may ratchet tension or stir unease through atmosphere or fast-moving incidents, it was the story coming alive through our main characterโLowenโthat allowed us as readers to feel unnerved, to doubt, to suspect.
Lowen, a struggling writer, moves in temporarily into the house of Verity Crawfordโa famed author who is unresponsive following a mysterious accident. Lowen was hired by Jeremy, Verityโs husband, to finish the series. So she spends her days rifling through Verityโs office to better delve into her psyche and voice, and is shocked to find a hidden autobiography.
In those pages, she learns more about the man sheโs secretly come to desire, more about the woman who lies catatonic, more about the children who have tragically died and the one whoโs been left behind. Sex, murder, deception hide in plain sight, and although she should run, she finds herself a moth to the flame. Trouble is, things arenโt always what they seem.
When her eyes start playing tricks on her, and her secrets, their secrets, come to light, they will all be irrevocably changed.
Readers should definitely blank slate their expectations and not expect to relate to the characters, not look for romance, humor, softnessโthis is not that kind of story. But if you take it for what it is, and you immerse yourself in a story that will easily draw you in, itโs quite the ride. Admittedly, I foresaw some of what was to happen, but I absolutely loved how the story unraveled, how I felt like a moth to a flame, how the characters were all imperfect and unreliable in their own right. The characters were fascinating, the story was thoughtfully woven and as a result, the novel as a whole hit the mark.
Unnerving, unexpected, suspenseful and brimming with the kind of intrigue you canโt look away from, Colleen Hoover once again proves she can do anything.
As first seen on USA Today HEA
I hear the crack of his skull before the spattering of blood reaches me.
I gasp and take a step back onto the sidewalk.
The man was in front of me a matter of seconds ago. We were standing in a crowd of people waiting for the crosswalk light to illuminate when he stepped into the street prematurely, resulting in a run-in with a truck. I lunged forward in an attempt to stop himโmy hand grasping at nothing as he went down. I closed my eyes before his head went under the tire, but I heard it pop like the cork of a champagne bottle.
He was in the wrong, looking casually down at his phone, probably a side effect of crossing the same street repeatedly without incident many times before. Death by routine.
People gasp, but no one screams. The passenger of the offending vehicle jumps out of the truck and is immediately on his knees near the manโs body. I back away from the scene as several people rush forward to help. I donโt have to look at the man under the tire to know he didnโt survive that. I only have to look down at my once white shirtโat the blood now splattered across itโto know that a hearse would serve him better than an ambulance.
I inspect my skirt, but find nothing. I look at my arms, at the drops of blood that have marked me. I need a bathroom. Water.
I spin around to move away from the accidentโto find a place to take a breathโbut the crosswalk sign now says walk and the thick crowd takes heed, making it impossible for me to swim upstream in this Manhattan river. Some donโt even look up from their cell phones as they pass right by the accident. I stop trying to move and wait for the crowd to thin. I glance back toward the accident, careful not to look directly at the man. The driver of the truck is now at the rear of the vehicle, wide-eyed, on a cell phone. Three, maybe four people are assisting them. A few are led by their morbid curiosities, filming the gruesome scene with their phones.
If I were still living in Virginia, this would play out in a completely different manner. Everyone around would stop. Panic would ensue, people would be screaming, a news crew would be on scene in a matter of minutes. But here in Manhattan, a pedestrian being struck by a vehicle is a daily inconvenience. A delay in traffic for some, a ruined wardrobe for others. This happens so often, it probably wonโt even end up in print.
As much as the indifference here sickens me, itโs exactly why I moved to this city ten years ago. People like me belong in cities that donโt care. The state of my life is irrelevant in a place this size. There are far more people here with stories much more pitiful than mine.
Here, Iโm invisible. Unimportant. Manhattan doesnโt care about me and I love her for it.
A hand touches my arm.
โAre you hurt?โ
I look up at a man whose eyes are scanning my shirt. Deep concern is embedded in his expression as he looks me up and down, assessing me for injuries. I can tell by his reaction that he isnโt a native New Yorker. He might live here now, but wherever he originated from, itโs a place that doesnโt completely beat the empathy out of you.
โโAre you hurt?โ the stranger repeats, looking me in the eye this time.
โNo. Itโs not my blood. I was standing near him whenโฆโ I stop speaking. I donโt think itโs hit me yet. I just saw a man die. I was so close to him; his blood is on me.
I moved to this city to be invisible, but I am certainly not impenetrable. Itโs something Iโve been working onโattempting to become as hardened as the concrete beneath my feet. It hasnโt been working out so well. I can feel everything I just witnessed settling in my stomach.
I cover my mouth with my hand, but pull it away quickly when I feel something sticky on my lips. More blood. I look down at my shirt. So much blood, none of it mine. I pinch at my shirt and pull it away from my chest, but it sticks to my skin in spots where the blood splatters are beginning to dry.
I think I need water. Iโm starting to feel light headed and I want to rub my forehead, pinch my nose, but Iโm scared to touch myself. I look up at the man who is still gripping my arm.
โIs it on my face?โ I ask him.
He presses his lips together and then darts his eyes away, scanning the street around us. He gestures toward a coffee shop a few doors down.
โTheyโll have a bathroom,โ he says, pressing his hand against the small of my back as he leads me in that direction.
I look across the street at the Pantem Press building I was headed to before the accident. I was so close. Fifteenโmaybe twenty feet away from a meeting I desperately need to be in.
I wonder how close the man who just died was from his destination?
The stranger holds the door open for me when we reach the coffee shop. A woman carrying a coffee in each hand attempts to squeeze past me through the doorway until she sees my shirt. She scurries backward to get away from me, allowing us both to enter the building. I move toward the womenโs restroom but the door is locked. The man pushes open the door to the menโs restroom and motions for me to follow him.
He doesnโt lock the door behind us as he walks to the sink and turns on the water. I look in the mirror, relieved to see it isnโt as bad as Iโd feared. There are a few splatters of blood on my cheeks that are beginning to darken and dry, and a spray above my eyebrows. But luckily, the shirt took the brunt of it.
The man hands me wet paper towels and I wipe at my face while he wets another handful. I can smell the blood now. The tanginess in the air sends my mind whirling back to when I was ten. The smell was strong enough to wake me up that night.
I attempt to hold my breath at the onset of more nausea. I donโt want to puke. I just want this shirt off me. Now.
I unbutton it with trembling fingers. I pull my shirt off and place it under the faucet. I let the water do its job while I take the other wet napkins from the man and begin wiping the blood off my chest.
He heads for the door, but instead of giving me privacy while I stand here in my least attractive bra, he locks us inside the bathroom so no one will walk in on me while Iโm shirtless. Itโs disturbingly chivalrous, but leaves me with an uneasiness. Iโm watching him through the reflection in the mirror. Tense.
Someone knocks.
โBe right out,โ he says.
I relax a little, comforted by the thought that someone outside this door would hear me scream if I needed to.
I focus on the blood until Iโm certain Iโve washed it all off my neck and chest. I inspect my hair next, turning left to right in the mirror, but find only an inch of dark roots above the fading caramel.
โHere,โ the man says, fingering the last button on his crisp white shirt. โPut this on.โ
Heโs already removed his suit jacket which is now hanging from the doorknob. He frees himself of his button-up shirt, revealing a white undershirt beneath it. Heโs muscularโtaller than me. His shirt will swallow me. I canโt wear this into my meeting, but I have no other option. I take the shirt when he hands it to me. I grab a few more dry paper towels and pat at my skin, then pull it on and begin buttoning it. It looks ridiculous, but at least it wasnโt my skull that exploded on someone elseโs shirt. Silver lining.
I take my wet shirt out of the sink and accept thereโs no saving it. I toss it in the trashcan and then I grip the sink and stare at my reflection. Two tired, empty eyes stare back at me. The horror of what theyโve just witnessed have darkened the hazel to a murky brown. I rub my cheeks with the heels of my hands to inspire color to no avail. I look like death.
I lean against the wall, turning away from the mirror. The man is wadding up his tie. He shoves it in the pocket of his suit and assesses me for a moment. โAre you okay?โ he asks. โI canโt tell if youโre calm or in a state of shock.โ
Iโm not in shock, but I donโt know that Iโm calm, either. โIโm okay. You?โ
โYeah,โ he says. โIโve seen worse, unfortunately.โ
I tilt my head as I attempt to dissect the layers of his cryptic reply. He breaks eye contact and it only makes me stare even harder, wondering what he could possibly have seen that tops a manโs head being crushed beneath a tire. Maybe he works in a hospital. He has an air of competency that often accompanies people who are in charge of other people.
โAre you a doctor?โ
He shakes his head. โIโm in real estate. Used to be, anyway.โ He steps forward and reaches to my shoulder, brushing something away from my shirt. His shirt. When he drops his arm, he scans my face for a moment before taking a step back.
His eyes match the tie he just shoved in his pocket. Chartreuse. Heโs handsome, but thereโs something about him that makes me think he wishes he werenโt. Almost as if his looks might be an inconvenience to him. A part of him he doesnโt want anyone to notice. He wants to be invisible in this city.
Most people come to New York to be discovered. The rest of us come here to hide.
โWhatโs your name?โ he asks.
โLowen.โ
Thereโs a pause in him after I say my name, but it only lasts a couple of seconds.
โJeremy,โ he says. He moves to the sink and runs the water again. He begins washing his hands. I continue to stare at him, unable to mute my curiosity. What did he mean when he said heโs seen worse than the accident we just witnessed? He said he used to be in real estate, but even the worst day on the job as a realtor wouldnโt fill someone with the kind of gloom thatโs filling this man.
โWhat happened to you?โ I ask.
He looks at me in the mirror. โWhat do you mean?โ
โYou said youโve seen worse. What have you seen?โ
He turns off the water and dries his hands, then faces me. โYou actually want to know?โ
I nod.
He tosses the paper towel in the trashcan and then shoves his hands in his pockets. His demeanor takes an even more sullen dive. Heโs looking me in the eye, but thereโs a disconnect between him and this moment. โI pulled my eight-year-old daughterโs body out of a lake five months ago.โ
I suck in a rush of air and bring my hand to the base of my throat. โIโm so sorry,โ I whisper. And I am. Sorry for being curious. Sorry about his daughter.
โWhat about you?โ he asks. He leans against the counter like this is a conversation heโs ready for. A conversation heโs been waiting for. Someone to come along and make his tragedies seem less tragic. Itโs what you do when youโve experienced the worst of the worst. You seek out people like youโฆpeople worse off than youโฆand you use them to make yourself feel better about the terrible things that have happened to you.
I swallow before I speak because my tragedies are nothing compared to his. I think of the most recent one, embarrassed to speak it out loud because it seems so insignificant compared to his. โMy mother died last week.โ
He doesnโt react to my tragedy like I reacted to his. He doesnโt react at all and I wonder if itโs because he was hoping mine was worse. It isnโt. He wins.
โHow did she die?โ
โCancer. Iโve been caring for her in my apartment for the past year.โ I can feel my pulse throbbing in my wrist, so I clench it. โToday is the first time Iโve stepped outside in three months.โ
We stare at each other for a moment longer. I want to say something else, but Iโve never been involved in such a heavy conversation with a complete stranger before. I kind of want it to end because where does the conversation even go from here?
It doesnโt. It just stops.
He faces the mirror again and looks at himself, pushing a strand of loose dark hair back in place. โI have a meeting I need to get to. You sure youโll be okay?โ Heโs looking at my reflection in the mirror now.
โYes. Iโm all right.โ
โAll right?โ He turns, repeating the word like a question, as if being all right isnโt as reassuring to him as if Iโd said I would be okay.
โIโll be all right,โ I repeat. โThank you for the help.โ
I want him to smile, but it doesnโt fit the moment. Iโm just curious what his smile would look like. Instead, he shrugs a little and says, โAll right, then.โ He moves to unlock the door. He holds it open for me but I donโt exit right away. Instead, I continue to watch him, not quite ready to face the world outside. I appreciate his kindness and want to say moreโto thank him in some way, maybe over coffee or by returning his shirt to him. I find myself drawn to his altruismโa rarity these days. But itโs the flash of wedding ring on his left hand that propels me forward, out of the bathroom and coffee shop, onto the streets now buzzing with an even larger crowd.
An ambulance has arrived and is blocking traffic in both directions. I walk back toward the scene, wondering if I should give a statement. I wait near a cop who is jotting down other eyewitness accounts. They arenโt any different from mine, but I give them my statement and contact information. Iโm not sure how much help my statement is since I didnโt actually see him get hit. I was merely close enough to hear it. Close enough to be painted like a Jackson Pollock canvas.
I look behind me and watch as the man who helped me in the bathroom exits the coffee shop with a fresh coffee in his hand. He crosses the street, focused on wherever it is heโs going. His mind is somewhere else now, far away from me, probably on his wife and what heโll say to her when he goes home missing a shirt.
I pull my phone out of my purse and look at the time. I still have fifteen minutes before my meeting with Corey and the editor from Pantem Press. My hands are shaking even worse now that the stranger is no longer here to distract me from my thoughts. Coffee may help. Morphine would definitely help, but hospice removed it all from my apartment last week when they came for my motherโs bed. Shame. I could really use some right about now.
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