Review: Wallbanger by Alice Clayton

My Thoughts

Hot, hilarious, laugh-out-loud book jam-packed
with the most genius banter ever!
Possibly the funniest book I’ve ever read!
LOVED. LOVED. LOVED.
Everyone should read this book!

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Synopsis

Caroline Reynolds has a fantastic new apartment in San Francisco, a KitchenAid mixer, and no O (and we’re not talking Oprah here, folks). She has a flourishing design career, an office overlooking the bay, a killer zucchini bread recipe, and no O. She has Clive (the best cat ever), great friends, a great rack, and no O.

Adding insult to O-less, since her move, she has an oversexed neighbor with the loudest late-night wallbanging she’s ever heard. Each moan, spank, and–was that a meow?–punctuates the fact that not only is she losing sleep, she still has, yep, you guessed it, no O.

Enter Simon Parker. (No, really, Simon, please enter.) When the wallbanging threatens to literally bounce her out of bed, Caroline, clad in sexual frustration and a pink baby-doll nightie, confronts her heard-but-never-seen neighbor. Their late-night hallway encounter has, well, mixed results. Ahem. With walls this thin, the tension’s gonna be thick…

My Review

I snorted. I actually snorted… loudly…while reading this book. I laughed out loud… A LOT! From what everyone said, I figured this book would be good, but it exceeded all my expectations!

This brilliant book just has it all! It’s funny. It’s sexy. It’s romantic. It’s well-written. You’ll swoon. You’ll giggle. You’ll snort (like me, I assure you). You won’t want to put it down. Only one other time has it happened to me that I was so engrossed in the book, that I didn’t highlight much for review purposes. It was just too good, to enjoyable to do any “work.”

So as the synopsis says, Caroline meets Simon, through the walls.

Simon Wallbanger. Manwhore. Wallbanger Wondercock. Photographer. Jet-black hair, piercing blue eyes, strong jaw and a tan and long, lean body.

Caroline Reynolds. Pink nightie girl. Cockblocker. Interior designer.

After a slew of sleepless nights and her frustration with lack of O intensifying, Caroline has finally had it with Simon’s wall-banging ways, she stomps over to Simon’s door, in a pink baby doll nightie and banged.

“Open this door you asshole, or I will come through the wall!”

Simon blows her off and Caroline is fuming. The first encounter does not go well. But soon after and quite unexpectedly, they meet again at her bosses’ house, at a party.

“The first thing I saw was blue. Blue sweater, blue eyes. Blue. Beautifully blue. Then I saw red as I recognized who belonged to the blue.”
“Fucking Wallbanger, I hissed, frozen on the spot.”
“Fucking Pink Nightie Girl, he finally concluded. He grimaced.”

Their friends are stunned… they’ve all heard about the famous Wallbanger and Pink Nightie Girl. Simon and Caroline march off angrily…

“Why are you such a manwhoring asshole? I asked, my face inches from his. “Why are you such a cockblocking priss? he asked, and when I opened my mouth to tell him exactly what I thought, the fucker kissed me. Kissed me.”

Stunned and consumed with “warm, boy smell,” Caroline returns to their friends, followed closely by Simon. In the end, Simon and Caroline agree to a reluctant truce. And as her two girls connect with Simon’s two guys and worlds begin to mix, they slowly but surely strike an unlikely friendship, despite the hard-to-resist,  mutual sexual attraction.

What comes after is the hilarious brilliance that is this book. Caroline’s fiesty, direct personality perfectly offsets Simon’s arrogant, sexual approach. They fall in love, slowly, inching together… touching… hands… snuggling… nooking.

“Did he want to nook me?
Did I want to nook him?
Oh the hell with it…
I’m coming into the nook, I announced and went full snuggle… Well, hello there, he said.”

And the food foreplay is so fun to read and so hot! 

“Clearly we were both divinely attracted to each other, and in another space and time, the sex would have been ringing out across the land and around the clock. But he had his harem, and I had my hiatus, not to mention that I did not have my O. So friends we would remain. Friends who meatball. Friends who nook.”

As the story continued, and I was well invested into these two people, the story deepened, balancing out the funny with the romantic, the sweet with the HOT.

“He was wooing me. And I was letting him woo. I wanted the woo. I deserved the woo. I needed the wow that would surely follow the woo, but for now, the woo? It was whoa.”

I truly had a smile on my face the entire time I read this book. It was incredibly sweet to read how perfect they were together. I just had to give it 6 stars. I don’t easily give a book 6 stars, but it’s about how books make me feel. Some 6-star books make me cry and tug at the deepest parts of my heart, but this book, made me feel great and in the end, a 6-star rating is given to the books I won’t forget. And this one, I won’t forget.

EVERYONE should read this book!

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